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FAKED INTERVIEW (11):
ERWIN AL-TUFFAAHI

Anis, July 5, 2006

Faked Anis: Hello Erwin.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Hi
Faked Anis: Did you read the Broder story?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Yeah
Faked Anis: And?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well
Faked Anis: Well what?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: It stirs up old memories.
Faked Anis: Because of: "When you write to me it is your own fault?"
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: It was a phase!
Faked Anis: Of course. Nobody blamed you.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: It had been the title of my homepage.
Faked Anis: Hm.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: We had lost everything.
Faked Anis: What exactly had been the matter back then?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well, you already mentioned it, in the first chapter of the Broder satire.
Faked Anis: The poisoned apples in the wholesale department.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: The entire apple industry of Southern Myr broke down.
Faked Anis: People ate pineapple.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: They made US responsible, how idiotic!
Faked Anis: Why idiotic?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Because nobody would damage himself like that.
Faked Anis: Sounds plausible.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Never could we have had an advantage from it.
Faked Anis: That's true.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: But there were influential rumors.
Faked Anis: The thing with the scorpion and the river?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: In a way.
Faked Anis: That made you angry.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: People called us irrational.
Faked Anis: What happened next?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: The apple growers, the cider vintagers, the apple puree people...
Faked Anis: Yeah
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: The pluckers and packers, the dried fruits dryers
Faked Anis: The apple chips producers
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: The juice-makers!
Faked Anis: The apple-peels-to-the-animals-feeders
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Then the depending branches. And all their families...
Faked Anis: What was their fate?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: The got unemployed. Nobody ate apples. Nobody!
Faked Anis: There had been those articles by some of you in the newspapers...
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Some of us became angry.
Faked Anis: Which is understandable.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well, some exaggerated.
Faked Anis: Also understandable.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well, they QUITE exaggerated.
Faked Anis: I see.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: I realized that myself in a way.
Faked Anis: You had this homepage then.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: And a sentence similar to the one of Mister Broder.
Faked Anis: Well okay, but this is a completely different context.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: It certainly is. Only the feelings are similar.
Faked Anis: Really?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Moreover, I attracted all kinds of garbage.
Faked Anis: You mean the feedback?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Some people wrote to me: shit on the whole apple industry...
Faked Anis: Really?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: ...and the pear industry with it!
Faked Anis: It will have frustrated you.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Back then, I felt affirmed: everybody hates us.
Faked Anis: What do you think about Broder?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well, I like him.
Faked Anis: Is that so?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Except what he does to the Palestinians and to people like Erhard. But he does not notice that.
Faked Anis: Did you read what Abi Melzer wrote about him?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: He is looking for something new.
Faked Anis: It was devastating.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: He published it himself, the guy wants change.
Faked Anis: This man?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Of course.
Faked Anis: I would rather run naked through the center of Bagdad than publish something like that about myself.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Yeah you! But he is different.
Faked Anis: Yes, I noticed that in the meantime.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: It is his way to express himself.
Faked Anis: Like calling German courts "the heirs of the Freisler company"?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: But that's nice. Is he not right?
Faked Anis: I beg your pardon? Or insulting a judge.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: But that's funny. Is he not right in some things?
Faked Anis: There are things where he is far away from the point.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: But this was not my question.
Faked Anis: And why do you like this guy?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: I don't know. Just because.
Faked Anis: I did not think that this faked interview would take such a course.
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well, your own fault.
Faked Anis: And why is that?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: If you write it like that.
Faked Anis: Oh man, how can I publish this?
Erwin al-Tuffaahi: Well...


Also in chapter 3 of Meet the Press (4): Henryk M. Broder
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