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FAKED INTERVIEW (3)
Anis, 27 April 2002

Faked Anis: Hello faked Palestinian.
Faked Palestinian: Hello faked Anis.
Faked Anis: I want to ask you about Palestine.
Faked Palestinian: Yes?
Faked Anis: What is Palestine?
Faked Palestinian: What are you talking about?
Faked Anis: Palestine.
Faked Palestinian: It's our country. It is occupied by Israel.
Faked Anis: Do you want a free Palestine?
Faked Palestinian: Of course. What a silly question.
Faked Anis: Is it?
Faked Palestinian: Yes, there is nothing a Palestinian wants more.
Faked Anis: I want it.
Faked Palestinian: I want it, too.
Faked Anis: Am I a Palestinian?
Faked Palestinian: Sure you are. Your father was born there.
Faked Anis: I feel Palestinian.
Faked Palestinian: OK.
Faked Anis: I also feel German. I live here in Germany and was born here.
Faked Palestinian: OK.
Faked Anis: I want the State of Palestine and peace for Israel.
Faked Palestinian: OK.
Faked Anis: I want it now.
Faked Palestinian: We all want it now. But you see how Israel behaves. Jenin!
Faked Anis: Yes I see that very clearly. Jenin.
Faked Palestinian: They don't want peace. They control the media.
Faked Anis: I just wanna be Palestinian.
Faked Palestinian: Sure.
Faked Anis: Do you know Mansaf?
Faked Palestinian: Of course I know Mansaf. It's delicious.
Faked Anis: I liked the outdoor parties, you know.
Faked Palestinian: Yeah, with Dabka dancing.
Faked Anis: Yeah and Kharuuf and Mulukheeyeh. And Maqluubeh!
Faked Palestinian: Delicious.
Faked Anis: The girls would dress up...
Faked Palestinian: ...and we would be all together...
Faked Anis: I'd play you some o'my faked songs.
Faked Palestinian: Cool.
Faked Anis: And will you teach me how to drive a tractor?
Faked Palestinian: Sure.
Faked Anis: Hey man, and I'm gonna show you some rock'n'roll!
Faked Palestinian: OK.
Faked Anis: Well alright, let's go and do it.
Faked Palestinian: What do you mean?
Faked Anis: Do it, man, do it!
Faked Palestinian: Yeah but how?
Faked Anis: What do you mean how? I'm here.
Faked Palestinian: Yeah but what do you want to do?
Faked Anis: Palestine.
Faked Palestinian: I don't understand.
Faked Anis: Well, we all want peace, don't we?
Faked Palestinian: Yeah, but before the peace the Israelis must...
Faked Anis: A wop ba baloo bop a whop bam boom
Faked Palestinian: Now wait a minute!
Faked Anis: Are you telling me that you are depending on Israel's moods?
Faked Palestinian: Look, they don't let us do it.
Faked Anis: You're chicken.
Faked Palestinian: Man, there's nothin' we can do.
Faked Anis: Do you know the Shammouts?
Faked Palestinian: No.
Faked Anis: A Palestinian couple of painters. They're great.
Faked Palestinian: OK.
Faked Anis: You can google them, they exist.
Faked Palestinian: When I find the time. We are oppressed. They killed...
Faked Anis: Yes they killed, we killed. It is a control drama.
Faked Palestinian: I don't know what you're talking about.
Faked Anis: We don't have to play this game. There are better games.
Faked Palestinian: I see no solution.
Faked Anis: Man, I see a solution.
Faked Palestinian: Nonsense, there is no solution. The UN blew it.
Faked Anis: Repeat that.
Faked Palestinian: T-H-E-R-E--I-S--N-O--S-O-L-U-T-I-O-N
Faked Anis: You know what I think?
Faked Palestinian: What?
Faked Anis: You are an armchair Palestinian.
Faked Palestinian: Don't insult me!
Faked Anis: Same to you.
Faked Palestinian: Why?
Faked Anis: Because your nihilism insults me.
Faked Palestinian: And what is your glorious solution?
Faked Anis: You.
Faked Palestinian: What??
Faked Anis: You are the solution.
Faked Palestinian: I don't understand.
Faked Anis: We just come all together and make Palestine.
Faked Palestinian: The Americans don't let us.
Faked Anis: Yes yes, my Mama doesn't let us, either.
Faked Palestinian: You're confusing me.
Faked Anis: You want Palestine, man?
Faked Palestinian: Yes of course, I told you.
Faked Anis: Well, put on your shoes, ya zalami!

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